You may not know that popular Japanese clothing chain Uniqlo has a sister brand called GU. Apparently, GU is more affordably priced than Uniqlo and is willing to take more…risks as well.

For example, GU sells what it refers to as Slim Tapered Color Block Pants. Which are basically pants that have penis pockets:

And it’s exactly what it sounds like: pants with a pocket right over the area that covers your junk because why put your cell phone in your side or back pocket when you can put it in a pocket right over your penis where the cellular radiation can more quickly kill your sperm and make you impotent.

And the pants come in different colors ’cause…oh, hell if I know!