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Japan’s Sanrio Co. announced last week that it will be building a Hello Kitty theme park in China, similar to its Purolands parks in Japan that celebrate all things Hello Kitty and her Sanrio-inspired brood. It’s currently scheduled to open in 2014 so book those tickets now.

I know a lot of our readers are into all things Hello Kitty (like this Hello Kitty self-pleasuring device) and will be anxiously awaiting the opening of this attraction, which will be located south of Shanghai. But if you can’t wait that long and want to find an “interesting” theme park in Asia to visit this summer vacation, you’re in luck! We’ve already written about China’s World Chocolate Wonderland and Japan’s Ocean Dome, but here are four more Asian theme parks I’m sure our freakish perverted adventurous readers will enjoy:

SHIJINGSHAN AMUSEMENT PARK (Beijing, China):

Of course, China has many other theme parks besides the upcoming Hello Kitty one and among the best known is Shijingshan, located in the nation’s capital. The park features magical castles, Snow White and her Dwarfs, a cat with large mouse-like ears and apparently the best lawyers money can buy considering the place hasn’t been closed down for being a Disneyland knock-off as many have accused it of being. ‘Cause Shijingshan characters like “Duck” and “Girl Cat” clearly do not bear any resemblance to copyrighted Disney characters:

Besides, I challenge Disneyland to come up with a better ticket window than this:

LOVE LAND (Cheju Island, South Korea):

If you need further proof that the stereotype of Asians being asexual isn’t true, then look no further than this theme park dedicated to all things erotic. Cheju Island is Korea’s equivalent of Niagara Falls–the destination of choice for honeymooners and other lovers–so makes sense that this outdoor park featuring 140 sex-related sculptures should be located here.

Yes, looking at these images brings a tear to my eye and makes me proud to be Korean. Mansei! Now, pass the soju and shrimp chips, please.

SUOI TIEN CULTURAL AMUSEMENT PARK (Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam):

This Vietnamese theme park is a tribute to Buddhism and is both a fun and educational place to visit. But what makes it completely awesome are attractions like the Heaven Palace, which recreates the afterlife in the form of the 12 torments of hell. That’s right—you can take your children through a ride that will show them how they will be punished after they die if they grow up to become prostitutes, druggies, gamblers or other assorted sinners. And after this enlightening experience, you can take the kids “fishing” at the Crocodile Kingdom attraction where 1,500 hungry crocodiles will be eagerly waiting to eat whatever you toss over. I know there’s gotta be a cool lesson for your children in there too.

HAW PAR VILLA (Singapore):

Also known as Tiger Balm Gardens, this park built in 1937 features over 1,000 statues and 150 dioramas inspired by Chinese folklore and history. Sounds normal enough, right? That is until you realize that Chinese folklore and history is apparently full of images of people being painfully tortured in hell and old men sucking on women’s breasts. But why try to explain in words when the following images can say so much more.


4 Comments

  1. wow. those are some crazy theme parks. and yes, i’m a little excited about hello kitty land

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