I just want to make this loud and clear. Just because my husband is Asian doesn’t mean I can’t call out toxic masculinity among Asian men and in Asian online spaces. I would appreciate if these MRAsians stop dragging my husband into this shit storm debate where I have been accused of “letting my him down” or not considering “his feelings” for calling out their misogyny. How the hell do they know what he is thinking and why is my personal life any of their business? I mean, I didn’t marry my husband because he is Asian, I married him because he was the right person. Isn’t this what love is about? Marrying the person who you want to spend your life with? Why is race even a factor?
I am writing this because recently my husband has received messages online from MRAsians urging and encouraging him to divorce me and some even went as far as to tell him to find a good white woman because white women support Asian men more than Asian females. And from what he has told me these messages were the nicer ones. He has refused to show me the meaner messages because it is quite upsetting for him and I am not pushing it because this is clear harassment and abuse by MRAsians online, who feel empowered to go and bully Asian women and men online who do not subscribe to supporting toxic masculinity and misogyny.
I feel that MRAsians whose sole focus is on attacking Asian women have a very limited intellectual capacity to work out that it is misogynistic to try and police the dating preferences of Asian women. If we choose to be with a white, black, blue, red or purple guy what right do you have to criticize, bully and ostracize us? To be honest most Asian women don’t care who an Asian man decides to date because it is none of our fucking business, so please show us the same courtesy. I have read over the past year comments on Reddit, Facebook and Twitter where MRAsians have called my husband a “sell out” and an ‘uncle chan” for marrying me, without even sparing a thought that by saying all this shit they are essentially going against their own ethos of “uplifting heterosexual Asian men”. They have also attempted to use the fact of who I married against me because their arguments are really all straw man arguments.
I don’t want to say too much more on this, because some of these tweet screen caps will speak for themselves. But I do want to make a few final points. This divide and debate on AF/WM vs AM/AF is one where only those Asians who are somewhat privileged can ramble on about constantly, and if you go into Reddit and Facebook groups and threads which peddle MRAsian causes, you will see that this is their one and only soul purpose. They don’t care for LGBT Asians, they don’t care about the abuse and harassment of Asian women and they don’t care about other marginalized and oppressed POC groups – because they only care about getting their dicks wet. In addition, they compartmentalize interracial relationships and can’t see that “Asian-ness” is not defined by who you date or get married to, but it is defined by your own journey and your acceptance of your cultural identity. An Asian woman can be with a white guy and be a strong voice for the Asian community just as much as an Asian woman who is with an Asian man.
I am personally sick and tired of this debate because there is nothing new and it has just become a slagging match where MRAsian mobbing is encouraged. My husband has nothing to do with my independent thought and opinions nor should he be used as a pawn and a bargaining chip in these debates. MRAsian behavior is akin to the behaviors of white supremacist/alt right movements and the more we all voice out against this, the more their shit will be exposed as a hate group.
I will leave my post here.