I am going to get straight to the point. The harassment and abuse perpetuated by “Asian male” dominated social media groups such as Facebook group Asians Not Brainwashed By Media and Reddit groups Azn Identity and ESR (Eastern Sun Rising) really needs to stop. To elevate this to another level, these groups really need to be shut down permanently and be labeled as hate groups – because that is what they do constantly – HATE

Weirdly, their hate is towards their own most of the time – usually aimed at Asian women, who have huge platforms and who are in relationships with a white man or have been in relationships with white men. Just go to these groups and you will see 95% of their discussions is whining about Asian women with white men, or Asian stories which do not feature an Asian man. Other than that they celebrate crowd funding porn videos which feature an Asian male and white female as advocacy. Yups, that is the levels that they are at. 

It is sad, because I know that being an Asian man ( both heterosexual and non heterosexual) is not easy in the West and Europe – particularly when decades of Western media brainwashing has planted the idea that the Asian man is weak, is non sexual and is unattractive and are un-dateable. But how can a young Asian man living in the West or Europe who is trying to understand their identity get anything positive from groups like those listed above? What happened to empowering Asian men to be who they are, talk about proactive advocacy, and learn about what pro Asian/WOC feminism is. All this is missed in these groups, because they teach young Asian men how to be more hateful towards Asian women and men ( who do not fit their requirements of being “masculine”). They then encourage mobbing over Twitter and Facebook which is essentially harassing and abusing Asian women and men online. It is extremely hypocritical, considering their so called “aims” is to be “pro-Asian”– but really all they do is hate on others and encourage mobbing. 

This is why the term “MRAsian” is fitting, because their behaviors mimic that of white MRA/alt right movements. It is them believing that Asian men need to be on top of the Asian hierarchical chain, and anybody who challenges this or “marries outside of their race” is a “white worshiping sell out” and needs to be mobbed en-mass. I think if a recent example is to be juxtaposed next to these MRAsian groups it would be that famous picture of the “MRA/white supremacist” group the Proud Boys, who caused havoc in NYC recently. It is sad because there is a place for “Asian male” groups on social media, but there is no place for them when they exclude non heterosexual Asian men, when they harass and bully Asian women who do not subscribe to the “Asians only” mentality. But their hypocrisy moves beyond this and I will later briefly highlight how. Before that, I do want to acknowledge that I was inspired to write this after the strong advocacy author CELESTE NG has done in this area to highlight the issues of harassment and abuse of Asian women and men online. 

Image via Celeste Ng on The Cut

Here are some key quotes from the piece she recently wrote for The Cut:

Targeted harassment from Asian-American men toward Asian-American women over choosing a non-Asian partner or having multiracial children, I discovered, is widespread, vicious, and devastating. We tell kids, “Ignore bullies and they’ll go away,” but the thing about ignoring bullies is that even if they leave you alone, they find other targets.

The volume and venom of these messages has real-world consequences for these women. They told me they reduced their internet presence afterward — making it harder to share their work and get new work. Some writers told me they shied away from writing about race, relationships, or identity. Some quit altogether.

In their messages, these harassers often claim Asian women don’t care about the issues facing Asian men, or even that they believe the stereotypes. But for the women I interviewed, the opposite was true. Nearly every woman acknowledged how hard it was to be an Asian man.

Ng’s words ring so true to me, because I too have been harassed and bullied online by MRAsians over a few years. I literally disappeared recently for awhile over this topic, when some of this harassment leaked over to my personal life, and my husband was getting social media messages telling him to divorce me or why he as an Asian man would marry a “white worshiping whore who sells out”. This is the stuff which is unacceptable and exposes the true hypocrisy of these groups of Asian men. Their hateful ways, also deludes their thought processes and they will go at anyone and everyone who doesn’t agree or support their ideas. Here are a few more examples of their hypocrisy. 

* Famous YouTuber NATALIE TRAN (Community Channel) in late 2017, released a documentary she made exploring the AF/WM phenomenon and shared her own personal experiences in being in a relationship with a white man. For those of us who watched it, it was a very well made and balanced documentary which explored both sides of the “debate”. On MRAsian social media, there was a lack of acknowledgement of how balanced the documentary was and their “to go to” was to just attack Tran for being bias because her partner is a white man. There was no critical thought put into their criticisms. 

* CHLOE BENNET and LOGAN PAUL relationship was another huge thing they went all hateful on. Of course the general consensus for all of us Asians is that Paul is a racist POS and a privileged white boy who needs to just disappear. But instead of going at him, MRAsian groups took aim at Bennet instead and attacked her for dating him ( they are now officially broken up). Regardless, it is not anyone’s business to police who Bennet dates and no-one looking from the outside knows the history between the 2. Instead of hating on Paul, they blamed Bennet for “enabling” him etc. Yups – pure hypocrisy.

* TO ALL THE BOYS I HAVE LOVED BEFORE Netflix film, one about a young bi-racial (half Korean, half white) teenager who like any other heterosexual teenage girl has a crush on a boys. Now all the boys happen to not be Asian, and really that shouldn’t be a big issue because the main premise of the film was one about “the coming of age”. The film is relate-able for many Asian women such as myself whose hormones went wild as a teenager. So what, if the film doesn’t include an Asian man? It is a story based on personal experience, and it is about a young woman. But MRAsians took aim at the film and called the author JENNY HAN a “white worshiping sell out etc”… instead of celebrating that it features an Asian lead. 

* The Australian dating show where 2 Asian Australian women stated that they had a “no dating Asians” policy. Yups this statement is problematic and is racist I agree. Although one needs to understand that in Australia and in the West media brainwashing and society dictates that it is the environment surrounding us which can cause this type of thinking. MRAsians fail to acknowledge this and instead attack the 2 Asian women and from some comments I have seen online body shame them, and call them ugly etc. In actual fact, it is the show which needs to be targeted for allowing these comments to be aired publicly. Attack the show, not the contestants. Also this is an opportunity to talk about internalized racism and self hate in our community, but instead of talk these MRAsian groups prefer to attack without any facts or knowledge.

So do you see where I am pointing out their hypocrisy? If you read what I have written, the common thread is that they just attack, mob, harass and bully instead of engaging in productive conversations and encouraging other young Asian men to be open minded and empowered through unity among all Asians and POC groups. Their behaviors, methods and strategies work against the Asian advocacy cause, and really is a shameful part of our community and activism. This is why I and many other Asian activists/individuals and groups are saying they need to be shut down, their leaders need to be suspended from social media, and the MRAsian culture needs to change to not exist. That is all I will say about this issue, but know that it is a major problem in our community. 

 To read Celeste Ng’s full article on The Cut, please click on: When Asian Women Are Harassed for Marrying Non-Asian Men


  1. This is the thing… I don’t advocate what they do or say. That’s wrong. But the number of articles (from you) devoted to bashing them, with far less articles criticizing asian women who outright say they don’t like Asian males or Asian women who perpetuate the stereotypes is enlightening.

    I am NOT endorsing, condoning, or even legitimizing those types of movements from Asian males that absolutely disrespect, hate or slander asian females who chose to exercise their natural right to choose whomever they be with.

    However, do you realize the number of articles, posts, etc that you rant about these Asian males? Do you realize that, like far left or far right political bases, the extreme views are extensions of more moderate views that should fairly be discussed?

    Or is this more of personal projection/rationalization of the world around you and the world that Asian females reside in. Often, Asian females in western countries have NO clue how difficult being an Asian male is. None. It’s about as tone deaf as rich people complaining about why poor people complain about prices, housing costs etc. It comes across as incredibly elitist, deeply unempathetic, and more or less a protection of privileges one enjoys being in the fortunate, better positioned demographic group.

    I grew up in Minnesota during a time when there was no Asians. I had to answer to a teacher’s question about growing up in Japan… and I wasn’t Japanese. I had to be told by the “in crowd” directly, mind you, that you would never be able to date so and so female.. because your… Asian. I had to be mocked with slant eyes, Bruce Lee noises, and mock asian accents when I walked with any white girl to a theater. I had to hear a date turn me down for a second date because, “her father doesn’t see her daughter dating an Asian male.” Or how about the… “hey man I hear you Asian guys have small dicks.. how do you even please women” comments? Try dealign with that nonstop… FROM YOUR FRIENDS.

    Think about that for a second. Then turn on Netflix in this day and age. Have things gotten better? Not really. Then understand that we’re always working at a disadvantage. A disadvantage in Western cultures that amounts to a ceiling as to the types of women who will be with us. Then you may understand what drives us.

    And let’s get into how this plays into White Male Privilege. Having no limits to resources, promotions, or career ambitions is the definition of White Privilege. Guess what. It’s the same in relationships.

    I’m not leftist. In fact, I’m a moderate Republican who hates Trump. But a common theme amongst Asian guys who know – we have to be FAR AND ABOVE the behaviors and attitudes that a white guy needs to date Asian females. It’s almost comical. Even though they broke up… think about Logan Paul. That fucker basically made fun of Japanese culture, geography, and people. Yet his Asian female girlfriend didn’t care. She still dated him anyways. Do you think I would EVER get away with that? Or any near equivalent? No we don’t. We have to be the “SUPER NICE GUYS” or we have to be a CRAZY RICH ASIAN GUY to do so. What about the NON CRAZY RICH ASIAN GUY? Yeah.. that population of female that likes this group… is smaller than for the Whtie guy.

    So, no, I do not disagree with you that these groups are unhelpful. But you know what? It’s HORRIBLY disappointing to see another famous Asian female or any Asian female choosing to date white, or to reacting reflexively to the Asian male disdain for that.

    Is it Asian male projection? YES. Should we rise higher than that? YES. But you know what? It’d be nice if more Asian females understood the slight stab to our heart when we see Asian females we admire and adore choose to be with the stereotypical white guy. It just reminds us that we are the inferior ethnicity for many females. Do you know what it feels like growing up as an adolescent asian male knowing that you have no chance with most of these women straight out of the box because of the way you look? It is demoralizing to say the least. And damaging to their psyche.

    Marinate on that and then come back to me and tell me how it feels – and let’s have an honest discussion about the ratio of articles that you and many Asian female activists publish about Asian male anger vs general female (doesn’t have to be even Asian) slights against the Asian male.

    AGAIN, I’m AGAINST what these groups do or say. They don’t represent me or any of my friends who are Asian males. But they are an extreme, wrong symptom of bigger, larger more subtle oppression of the Asian male desirability.