When I was in Orange County this past weekend, I was lured by the nostalgic glow of the local Dairy Queen with its cheerful, iconic red sign and had the soft serve chocolate dipped cone which triggered all my happy childhood food memories.  I was surprised at how much I enjoyed this little piece of fake vanilla and chocolate heaven.  I generally prefer natural or organic food – the taste is often so much purer, fresher, and just better.  And for a long time, I merely tolerated fast or packaged food as something to stave off hunger when trapped in hermetically sealed environments like the airplane, office buildings, and shopping malls.  But there was something magical about this dessert.  The vanilla soft serve melts in your mouth like a marshmallow cloud.  The chocolate shell tastes nothing like grown-up, antioxidant rich, high percentage cacao content chocolate but instead, evokes the taste of “kiddie” chocolate – a cold-fusion of cocoa and partially hydrogenated vegetable oil that graces treats from Eskimo Pie to Klondike Bars.  This was the kind of blissful sensory and taste combination that nature just can’t invent.  

What kind of food do you love that is so artificially bad, it’s good?


  1. circus peanuts

    it’s what i thought turkish delight would taste like when i read “the lion, the witch, & the wardrobe”

    orangish, unlike a peanut, and a texture like that of thick, gelatinous foam, this thing should not be so orally inviting.

    love it. whatever it really is…

    also Twinkies. was stunned to learn that Twinkies never see an oven and that all that spongy cake and cream is just a funky chemical reaction. love them twinkies…

  2. The delicious trio of Halloween-themed cereals: Count Chocula, Frankenberry and Booberry. Processed yumminess galore!

  3. Watermelon flavored anything… it never tastes like real watermelon.

  4. Drumstix and Flamin’ Hot Cheetos! Deeelishush!

  5. Combos. Specifically, the cheddar cheese or nacho cheese pretzel flavors. And I like to have them with a can of Mr. Brown or Hello Boss coffee.

  6. I love pik-nik potato sticks, especially the ketchup flavored ones.

  7. Yr all gonna die at 34.

    Mr. Tofu

  8. Nacho cheese. Fake cheese liquid in a can, heated and poured over tortilla chips.