Two weekends ago 15,000 people descended on the Cow Palace in San Francisco for the first ever weed expo where toking was allowed on-site. Obviously some kind of freaky deaky San Francisco loophole was found to make this legal. For $99 – cash only – attendees were able to get a temporary “recommendation” from a “doctor” that allowed them to get lit at the event. Feeling a little bi-polar this week? Fibromyalgia acting up? Vision a bit blurry? Come on down and see Dr. Nick!

The 2010 International Cannabis and Hemp Expo wasn’t, however, just an excuse for 15,000 people to compete for the title of Bong Kong. It was a place where American ingenuity and entrepreneurialism were on proud display. The showstopper of the event was Tim Ellis’ Grow ‘N’ Mobile, an eighteen foot trailer converted into a mobile grow house.

It is, the father of two pointed out, the perfect solution for people worried about the conspicuous equipment needed to cultivate weed at home. Ellis had the family grower in mind – a person who desires to grow outside the house, beyond the prying eyes of bored suburban housewives, but in a secure location.

Ellis thought of practically everything: he rigged the trailer’s hitch so thieves would need a blow torch to hook the trailer up to their own truck. Fumes are routed through a charcoal filter, and the roof has an infrared shield to thwart weed hunting helicopters.

“Can’t steal it, can’t smell it, can’t find it,” giggled a red eyed Ellis.

The Grow ‘N’ Mobile starts at $19,500, and can yield up to six pounds – SIX POUNDS – of pot every two months. In California decent kif retails for between $2000 – $3000 a pound. In four months your weed-mobile has paid for itself. That hydroponic chronic makes for some seriously sweet math!

And by the way, infrared shields? Theft proof hitches? Who says all stoners are just a bunch of lazy ass slackers?

Bro, you just need to find a hella big parking space, and you’re golden.


  1. some of the smartest, most intelligent people I have even known are potheads. perhaps it’s something in the herb…
    btw…i now know what my retirement plan looks like

  2. Attn: all filmmakers. Need ideas on how to fund your next project…

  3. To comment on the title, it’s ironic how Al Qaeda and the Taliban hate America so much and yet traffic our drugs.