I have always found Michelle Kwan to be sexier than hell. So much so that I have written her a personal
marriage proposal love poem or two…or three. Or four.
Some friends say that my love for MKwan is false. They say that I am only attracted to her because of the golden orbs of victory that dangle below the nape of her neck, her silky legs of granite that glisten wet when fundamentally dry, and her sensual, Kristen Stewart-esque lip-pursings before toe-picking her way, yet again, across the aches of my heart. They say my love for her is more idol worship than nature’s intent. They say my love for her is false.
What do I say?
Whatevahs. Don’t hate da skater, hate da game. This is crazy, but here’s my number…so call me maybe.
OK, so she didn’t call. Yet. But I did catch her staring at me more than a few times at several award shows over the years. I think. But then again, I didn’t have my glasses on. And I wasn’t close enough to do a “thigh of granite” test squeeze on her slender shanks. But I am pretty sure it was her. I think. Damn those Asian girls for always looking so exotically similar.
But enough with these lustful musings, for I must go to Costco now to buy some pillows. Enjoy the video. Proof positive that MKwan is sizzling on waters frozen and not.
Until we skate again, Michelle Kwan forevahs…