Can you even name the current Secretary of Defense?  Right, neither can I.  Know why?  ’cause he’s BOOORRRRING!

Not like this guy.  This guy knew how to work a room:

Some of you might be too young to remember, but before Donald Rumsfeld resigned in 2006, there was a time when he was adored. I mean, he had the press corps – and the public – eating out of his hand.  He could charm anyone.  History may brand him a crappy Secretary of Defense, but when he was on top, he was on top.

For your pleasure, I now present a sampling of the wit, wisdom, wordplay – and mind bending arrogance – of Donald Henry Rumsfeld:

Death has a tendency to encourage a depressing view of war.

I believe what I said yesterday.  I don’t know what I said, but I know what I think, and, well, I assume it’s what I said.

If I said yes, that would then suggest that that might be the only place where it might be done which would not be accurate, necessarily accurate, but I’m disinclined to mislead anyone.

False modesty wasn’t one of his character flaws:

Secretary (Colin) Powell and I agree on every single issue that has ever been before this administration except for those instances where Colin’s still learning.

He even invented a new word:

I’m not into this detail stuff.  I’m more concepty.

He had an impressive list of “don’ts.”

I don’t do quagmires.

I don’t do diplomacy.

I don’t do foreign policy.

I don’t do predictions.

I don’t do numbers.

I don’t do book reviews.

And in a few surprising moments of candor:

Now, settle down, settle down.  Hell, I’m an old man, it’s early in the morning and I’m gathering my thoughts here.

If I know the answer I’ll tell you the answer, and if I don’t, I’ll just respond, cleverly.

And what’s the opposite of candor, again?  Oh yeah – lying!

I don’t believe anyone that I know in the administration ever said that Iraq had nuclear weapons.

Back to candor:

We do have a saying in America: if you’re in a hole, stop digging…er, I’m not sure I should have said that.

Let’s hear it for the essential daily briefing, however hollow and empty it might be.

Ever the turd polisher:

There will be good moments, and there will be less good moments.

He had the common touch with the common man, if the common man was living in Ohio, circa 1952:

That just couldn’t be any more wrong than spreading marmalade on a steaming pile of flapjacks.

And, lastly, let’s not forget his brilliant two word commentary on the post war chaos in Iraq, when there was mayhem in the streets and priceless antiquities were being looted from museums:



  1. What a total jackass. Neo-conservatism frightens me.