The other morning I ran five seven nine ten miles so I thought I’d treat myself for such a valiant effort by buying a carton of my beloved Thrifty brand ice cream from my neighborhood Rite Aid. If the thought of that scrumptious and smooth ice cream entering my mouth wasn’t awesome enough, I was also pleasantly surprised to learn it was on sale: 2 for $5 (go out and get yours now before it’s too late). So I walked out of Rite Aid with four three two my one carton of Thrifty brand ice cream and I was as happy as a clam at a clambake. Until…the incident. All my Asian American brothas and sistas will know what I’m referring to.

A car full of in-bred hicks drove by and one of these aforementioned hicks stuck his redneck head out of the window and shouted, “Chink!” Now before I could pick up a rock and throw it flag the hick mobile down to have a civil conversation about their in-bred ass backwards racism, they sped away without stopping. I’m not going to penalize them for this. I understand—they were probably in a hurry to get home to drink homemade moonshine and fuck their mothers and/or sisters. But then I thought about that word: Chink.

For most Asians growing up in America, that word carries a lot of painful memories and I’m not an exception. But the reality is I haven’t been called that word in awhile and I have to say on some level, it didn’t have the weight it used to have. Granted, I’m the guy who started our Chinky Or Not Chinky feature and I probably use that word more than most racists (i.e. “Did you see last night’s episode of Law & Order? It was so fucking chinky!”), but I think it’s also been overused in general and it doesn’t necessarily have the same power it once did.

Look, there was a time not too long ago when you couldn’t say the word “bitch” on TV. Now you can’t turn on a show without hearing that word dropped with frequency in casual conversation. I’m not saying “chink” in most contexts is not racist, but like anything that’s been around for a long time, it’s become familiar, old and even slightly cozy. The other Asian-related racist words in our collective vocabulary suffer the same problem.

Gook is also Korean for “soup.”  These days when I hear that word, I think more about what I want for dinner than anything else.

As for nip…again, the first thought these days—food. Cheese Nips. Or if someone says, “there’s a nip in the air,” I automatically picture a fat sumo wrestler flying up in the skies. Am I the only one who finds that funny?

And does anyone even use the word slope anymore outside of a ski resort or calculus class?

As for Oriental…who really says that now except for really old people who still call Blacks “Negroes,” think of homeless people as hobos who carry sticks with handkerchiefs tied at the end and believe FDR is still President? They may be a little out of touch but they’re well meaning.

No, I think it’s time someone invented a new derogatory word or term for Asians. We need something fresh; something that’ll have a more immediate and visceral impact. Since most of the racist hicks lack the creativity to come up with such a word on their own, I think we may need to help them out. Any suggestions?

This might not be right for these purposes, but I sort of like the word “celestial.” It was sort of the old school equivalent of the word “chink”–used in the 19th century to refer to Chinese who were seen as “ethereal” and who came from the “celestial kingdom” to boot. It went out of style long ago but I like it because there’s something classy about it. Even an ass backwards hick will sound somewhat educated shouting “celestial” out of a speeding car. And isn’t that what’s missing in racism today? Some class.


  1. “Those f..king celestials they’re ruining this country!”,”You golden bellied celestials don’t belong here, go back to your galaxy”, “Get your starry eyed celestial @$$ out of my store!”

  2. Sorry about the random act of moronic behavior. I’ll bet they feel sooooo “cool” and have tweeted all of their dumb-ass little friends about how a carload of them managed to yell such nice greetings to a person all by himself while they sped away. Cowards. Yellow-bellies. Heh, heh, irony intended.

    I’m curious….in what part/area of town did this occur??

    More flavorful terms…
    “slant” (slant-eyed)
    “squint / squinty” (squinty-eyed)

    True….it has been a few decades since I’ve been called a “chink”…..or a “nip” for those even less-educated that can’t tell the difference between “us”. Hmmmm….I don’t think I’ve ever been called a “gook” though.

    However, I don’t think I’m as used to it / blasé/desensitized about it as you might be. Then again, I’m from the generation/background where giving someone the “one-fingered salute” actually meant/means something more than “Hi, nice to see you too.”

    The civilized part of me would remember the last part of the “sticks & stones, etc” (and that “words” will never justify physical violence in a court of law….especially in a “white/euro-centric country”), but the fierce/barbaric Oriental warrior in me with a noble 5+K year old family name & legacy to defend would wanna kick their cowardly collective asses straight back to their mammas.

    Double-chocolate malted crunch…or whatever it’s called RULES!! :-q”

  3. They pick which Obama-grade Azns to call *chinks* and in certain locations. They don’t do that were our own brand of gangstas would retaliate. Something I’ve always noticed. The alpha-whites tend to shut the f*k up when the surrounding logistics intuitively alert them to.

  4. just like Voltron, may i suggest a super combo…


    gook + chink + nip

  5. i like this post.

  6. People use to call me “chop sticks” or “seaweed” when I was in the military.

  7. You forgot “dime-slot”.

  8. The last time someone yelled chink at me I responded with “Yellow Power!” However, this is kind of hard to turn into a noun. “I’m a yellow power-er?” Yellow Power Ranger? Nah..

    I also looooove it when old timers say “Chinaman” as though it’s the politically correct thing to say. They actually think they’re being cool and I don’t really hold it against them. They’re trying, but it’s sooo funny. Maybe “Yellowman?” But isn’t that a reggae guy? Hmm.. this is hard.

    Another time someone called me a gook and I told them “I’m a CHINK goddammit! Take a little pride in your racism, you’re better than that!” Then he got a kick to the nuts. So… “Nutkicker”? “Kumquat smasher”? A little obvious.

    Oh I got it, I got it.


    ME – “Ahem, sir, I believe the term you’re looking for is “Ass Kicking Fuck Master.”

    Chris Lee
    Proud “AKFuM”.

  9. My buddy enlisted in the military. He’s Japanese. As soon as he went to boot, his name suddenly changed to “Charlie”. They’ve always called him that…and they still do. He enlisted 15 years ago.

  10. I live in a black and Hispanic neighborhood, so I’m subjected to Asian stereotypes and racist comments quite regularly. I can brush off most encounters because it only goes to show how ignorant they are.

    Hispanic people often refer to Asian people as “chino”, without intending to be racist… It’s just another way to get someone’s attention. I’ve come to accept it as that.

  11. Ah, don’t you love it when they drive away. Usually there is about four of them while there is one of you. What are they afraid of? If I wanted to call someone whitey, I would enjoy it more if I stayed and watched their reaction. Isn’t that the whole point of screaming a racist comment. To provoke a reaction?

    I grew up in Fresno so I’ve had plenty of this but the one I remember the most was when I was living in SF and a carload of white kids did this in chinatown. Several of us CHINKS decided to chase the car down on foot. Of course this being SF and chinatown there was plenty of red lights. We caught up to the car and these brave little cowards locked their car doors. So we proceeded to kick the shit out of the car. It was probably the most fun I had giving out some street justice.

  12. @T
    I’m guessing your friend’s real name isn’t “Charlie” but rather short for “C” for chink. At least its not “Tango” meaning target.

  13. I would dearly love to go ape-shit on some Clorox boy. Weird, I haven’t had the opportunity. Plenty of chinos from LA homies, but dangit, I await my turn.

    public note to boys in cars, waiting to yell anti-Asianisms, my grizzly bear spray remains unused, it shoots to 30′. can’t wait to try it.

  14. ginknip backwards is Pinking. That’s ironic.

    “Celestial” is good. “Let’s go out and eat Celestial tonight.” I think that’d be like saying, let’s go out and suck wind.

    Let me see, I was called Chink my first time by Blacks in a car, moving away from me while I was standing. I waved at them bc I didn’t know they were being ignorant. I’d never heard the word before. They stopped the car and we had a funny conversation where I asked what it meant but they wouldn’t tell me bc they were ashamed.

    Then there was the time I was serving drinks in a bar and some soldiers on r&r called me “gook,” full of hate and horror. The white bartender had to make them leave.

    I was also called chink at a Beverly Hills dinner party by some Jewish people. It was really funny in a way bc it was so… “sophisticated.”

    Lady One: Hey R, this is my chink friend, C (me)
    Lady Two: Well, nice to meet you C, any chink friend of L’s is a Chink friend of mine! hahaha!

    Me: Hahaha! And any Kike friend of L’s is a Kike friend of mine! hahaha!

    except they didn’t laugh. they were horrified.

    Oh well. Some people just DON’T have a sense of humor

  15. @Mamo, I hate to be a spelling nazi but “ginknip” backwards is “pinknig” and not pinking.

  16. I like the traditional chink, gook, jap, etc. Easy to say, especially in a group of asian friends of mixed background.

    Celestial has too many syllables. It doesn’t really roll off the tongue even if you’re well-spoken; I can’t imagine how much of a struggle it’d be if you were home schooled to a 4th grade level. We’re talkin’ about people who pronounce American “Amurrkin” and that’s, like, their favorite word of all time.

  17. @Simon, even better. Pinknig. Pardon my dyslexia, but Pinknig. Yeah. Says it all.

  18. @Mamo
    OMG Classic! “Any Kike friend of L’s…” I die! rotflmao!!

    QUOTE””As for nip…again, the first thought these days—food. Cheese Nips. Or if someone says, “there’s a nip in the air,” I automatically picture a fat sumo wrestler flying up in the skies. Am I the only one who finds that funny?””
    Um, no, you’re not the only person that finds that sh1t funny! LMFAO!

  19. Today in school during lunch, I said the word “CHING.” My asian friend at the table misheard me and he thought I said “chink. ” He was extremely pissed off at me and won’t let me explain. I’m in serious trouble if I want to keep the friendship. If I do explain, he’ll just say, “NO YOU DIDN’T SAY CHING, YOU SAID CHINK!” I want to apologize and explain. What should I do?

  20. @Tigrex1995, all you can do is apologize and explain it was a misunderstanding. If he’s a real friend, he’ll understand. Just be sensitive that he may have been called that word a lot and it hurt him to hear that from a friend even though you didn’t intend it. Just be honest and communicate.

  21. I’m asian. And going to a public high school, i get “chink” alot. i also get “chino”…

    but i don’t really get offended….

  22. I’m fine with being a chink. Its only derogatory if you choose it to be. In this part of asia, we call the white man, ang mo kao (angmo – short) or red haired monkey and they don’t seem to mind a bit. Sometimes we call them sam or short for stupid ang mo and they usually response in a friendly manner. they don’t take offence to these terms so it s not derogatory or racist at all.