It’s April 14th, BLACK DAY, everyone. Black Day is a South Korean version of Valentine’s Day (there’s a Korean variation on V-Day on the 14th of every month) in which single people eat Jajangmyeon and are lonely. Sometimes with other people.

Jajangmyeon is a noodle dish with a hearty sweet-ish sauce of meat and beans, nicknamed “Black Sauce Noodles” because of the deep color. It is related to the very similar Chinese noodle dish zhajiangmian, which tends to be more brown, and is also sumptuously filling.

I know we’re headed into potential explosions with North Korea, but if this weekend is to be our end, can we not put away the East/West disconnect for one mealtime and enjoy the worldwide availability of fine Korean noodles, while also experiencing/complaining about/regaling in our own existential status as nobody’s Valentine?

Couply couples are explicitly discriminated against on this holiday, btw. Y’all have V-Day and White Day and 9 other pseudo-romantic days, and when the missiles fall you’ll be wrapped up in the arms of someone, so you people get to eat salad today. This is Black Day, folks.

I’m somewhat writing a science-fiction novel about this, too. It’ll be out next month in time for Rose Day/Yellow Day.