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Dear Mr. Favreau:

I recently saw the trailer for the upcoming Iron Man 2 and I have to say that it looks very impressive. I wasn’t really a big comic book fan growing up and didn’t know too much about Iron Man, but you did a great job directing the first film and I’m looking forward to what you have in store for the sequel.

But there is one thing I was disappointed you didn’t include in the first movie and from what I’ve heard from the grapevine, you have no plans to include this in the second one either. If this is indeed the case, I am writing to ask you to reconsider. Most people know that the Iron Man suit has a lot of cool powers, but there’s a special gadget the suit possesses that begs to be included in the sequel. And what is this you may be asking? Two words: roller skates.

As I said, I was never really into comics as a kid, but this one summer I stayed with my cousin Claude in Cupertino and he had a huge stack of comic books including some Iron Man titles. The only thing I remember about them was this image of our superhero skating down a New York street on roller skates that popped out of his boots. For the longest time, I thought I must have made up those images because it didn’t make sense. Why would someone like Tony Stark (Iron Man’s alter ego) build this high-tech suit and include something as lame and useless as roller skates? But then I found this on the internet:

And this rant from some comic geek:

Now, when you first think about it—the idea of roller skates on Iron Man does sound pretty stupid. But upon further reflection, it’s actually a brilliant idea for your film. Here’s why: Robert Downey Jr. The guy is fucking hilarious—think of the cinematic magic he could create on skates. Maybe Mickey Rourke is trying to whip him and the Iron Man suit runs out of power or something like that. The only way our hero can escape is by skating away while Downey ad-libs funny wise-cracks. That could be an awesome scene.

If you already don’t have such a moment in your film, I ask that you consider adding one. You’re probably done shooting and in post-production right now, but really, it would only take an additional day or two to shoot the scene I described above. Hell, if you’re busy, I’m sure my fellow Offender Justin could do it for you. He’s good at filming cars going really fast, I figure skates should be even easier to work with.

Thank you for considering my request and all the best to you in the new year.

4 Comments

  1. I saw Ironman 1 in Auckland New Zealand. The ticket cost me $25 and it wasn’t even Imax! : (

    no matter how i run the visuals through my head, any roller skate scene would be pretty cheesy. except, perhaps, when the suit is in storage and Gwyneth Paltrow needs to push it around. hopefully she’ll do it in a negligee

  2. Whoa, did Don Cheadle replace Terrence Howard?

  3. they should dooooooooooooo it!

  4. Never expected my old comic book collection would yield a post here. The crevasses of your mind are deep and fertile.

    The thought of skates plus the scene of Mickey Rourke cracking the whips makes me think of the movie Whip It, and you really don’t want to associate Iron Man with that movie.