Recently I made up some shit about sign twirlers…

So how far off was I?

Our actress, Liz Ho, did a wonderful job dancing around with the sign, goofing off, just being generally bouncy and buoyant. But Christ almighty, there are some people out there who belong in acrobatic troupes…

…or dance companies…

These guys are so good I would stop and buy an asbestos covered donut from them.

Some of the moves have names – The Helicopter, The Blender, and Spanking The Horse (the spinner puts the sign between his legs, slaps his own behind, and giddy-ups).

Uggh! Opportunity missed! Is there time for a reshoot!?

Now granted, some folks are clearly just phoning it in:

But damn, there are some real artists out there.

I searched on-line for what they get paid. The general consensus is $9 – $11/hour (so at least I got that part close-to-right: I had my characters negotiate to $10/head). But for the two guys above – the artists? I tend to agree with wiki.answers, which replied, in answer to the question, “How much do sign twirlers make?”,

“Not enough, my friend. Not enough.”

And by the way, the PC term for “sign twirler” is “human directional.” They have other nicknames – sign spinner, sign dancer, sign holder, human arrow, and human billboard – all of which feel more elevated and less antiseptic than “human directional” to me, but just in case you find yourself at a dinner party with one of them, apparently “human directional” is your safest bet.

Me, I think I’d go with “kinetic twirl maestro.”